The Twin Flame Survival Guide
I can say with confidence that Twin Flames are one of the most challenging types of karma a person can experience on Earth. I do not make this statement lightly, either. I speak for both my own experience and the experiences I’ve observed from my clients as well. Those with twin Flame karma wouldn’t wish it on their worst enemy.
What are Twin Flames?
I’d first like to state that Twin Flames are very much real. I wish they weren’t, but they are. There’s also a lot of misinformation about Twin Flames, so I encourage you as the reader to use your judgment when consuming anything on the subject, including this post.
In short, Twin Flames are unique “twin souls” that are the closest soul family/soulmate one can have. The relationship is unusually intense, magnetic, and karmic, leaving a profound impact (to one degree or another) on both parties involved. It is a connection that is emotionally, & psychologically potent, in addition to being notoriously overwhelming.
A Flamin’ Hot Topic
The topic of Twin Flames is a passionate subject of mine, and I recognize that I wasn’t thorough about it in my last post on it. Nor did I give much advice on how to manage having one. With all the confusion and predatory messaging on the subject, I see now I was doing you as the reader, a disservice in that previous post on the topic. So I’m writing again to give those of you who think you may be experiencing this challenging type of karma some real-world experiential advice in not only what it is, but why it is happening to you and how you can manage it so you don’t just survive — but thrive.
In order to understand the true purpose of Twin Flames, we must look back at a couple of ancient metaphysical principles of our own reality — the Principle of Gender and the Principle of Polarity.
The Principle of Gender
In Ancient Egypt, a magician by the name of Hermes Trismegistus created a spiritual school of thought known as Hermeticism that comprised 7 principles that still hold true today. One of these principles is the Principle of Gender. This principle states that everything has both masculine and feminine qualities that do not necessarily refer to the “sex” of living things (such as boys and girls).
This principle uses these terms to describe force (whether it be internal — feminine — or external — masculine). Everything on all planes has both masculine and feminine energies. Breathing out is masculine while breathing in is feminine. Light is masculine and dark is feminine. Speaking/communicating is masculine, and listening /observing is feminine. You have both masculine and feminine energies if you’ve done any of these things.
The Principle of Polarity
The Principle of Polarity states that everything manifests on a pole (like a curtain rod). It also states that many things that seem opposite to each other are just opposite ends of the same pole. A perfect example of this would be hot & cold. These are just opposite ends of the same pole called temperature. The same for night & day, fast & slow, and of course, masculine & feminine.
In order for a soul to incarnate in our physical reality, it must do so somewhere on the pole of gender. Unlike angels who are above gender, we must incarnate somewhere on that spectrum to exist in this reality. We can’t be both totally masculine and totally feminine. So an oversoul (which is the higher self’s higher self) must break up into two parts — masculine and feminine energies — to be able to incarnate on the physical plane. This doesn’t mean Twin Flames only manifest as opposite genders — it just means one will have more masculine attributes and the other will have more feminine ones.
The Challenge
Unlike other soulmates, whom you can have many of, you can only have one Twin Flame. As I’ve stated previously, the challenge of having a Twin Flame is the intensity. It’s a one-of-a-kind connection that throws many who experience it for the first time through a loop. Not many people experience meeting their “twin” either — maybe less than 25% of people out there. So many who believe they’re going through a Twin Flame experience feel like they’re doing it alone. For most who experience this, it can feel like they’ll never experience happiness with others the way they did around their twin flame — especially if they’re in a separation phase. It’s also important to note that meeting your twin doesn’t mean you can’t have lifelong, fulfilling happiness with another soulmate. But more on this in a minute.
Is That My Twin or is it Just Limerence?
Since the term “Twin Flame” is overused and often misunderstood, there are those with an understanding of psychology who would label it as an “infatuation” or “limerence”. However, a true Twin Flame experience is neither. Both infatuation and limerence involve falling for the “idea” of the person in a fantastical way. There is a level of fantasy and illusion. An authentic Twin Flame encounter involves at least one party (usually the more intuitive of the two) having deep authentic emotions for the other person. They care about not just the other person, but their family and life goals, too. Their emotions aren’t limited to the idea of a union with their twin, but a want to see their twin succeed in life. Even if they aren’t in the picture. Limerence & infatuation involve a level of selfishness — a true Twin Flame encounter often involves authentic and selfless emotions.
Signs You’ve Met Your Twin
These signs aren’t comprehensive but stem from personal experience and similar experiences my clients have had. The more of these signs you’ve experienced, the more likely you’ve met your Twin Flame. I will iterate that these signs must be experienced on an intense level to be considered a “Twin Flame” as opposed to a close soulmate experience. This is because the experience of meeting a soulmate and a Twin Flame is virtually identical, with the only differing factor being the level of intensity.
There is a deep feeling of being at home when you’re around them
You feel like they’re the only person who ever has or will truly understand you completely
There is a profound, deep unspoken connection
You feel like you’re buzzing when you’re around them or communicating with them in any way
You feel as if you both have an almost psychic connection
There is a deep level of trust or a deep longing for trust
It is the most intense emotional attraction you’ve ever experienced
You have dates in common (i.e., you have the same birthday, the opposite birthday, or your birthday is the same day as their anniversary, etc…)
You feel an insane level of karmic connection
You feel immensely happy when they’re around
They make you feel like a teenager
You have imaginary conversations or arguments with them in your head a lot
You think about them frequently or even obsess over them
You synch up at random times — like you just know you both had the same/similar dinner or were both on your computer or even the same website around the same time
You had similar backgrounds/backstories/childhood traumas/experiences
Other people mention you and your Twin have the same mannerisms/say the same things/expressions
You either completely understand them (and are on the same wavelength) or you can’t understand them at all
You feel a deep longing to just be near them
If you’ve separated, it initially likely shattered your world
You can’t stop thinking about them/couldn’t stop thinking about them for a very long time
If you’ve separated, you experienced an awakening shortly after you both separated
You feel the encounter was very emotionally intense for you and wished you’d handled it differently
You feel you’ve visited them in a dream, or vice versa
You just know when they’re thinking and/or talking about you
You feel you had a past-life connection with them
You daydream or fantasize about being in a relationship with them
If you’ve had intercourse with them, it was intense/phenomenal
Why It’s So Hard
As much as the idea of Twin Flames is romanticized, the reality is far from that. This kind of karma can easily drive a person to the brink of insanity. It’s painful. It makes you feel like you’re dying a slow death, or a death by a thousand cuts. Sometimes the intensity of it all makes you feel like you don’t even know who you are anymore. It’s like walking through a desert full of magnets, with a compass that can’t point north.
Another challenging aspect of Twin Flames is the temporary nature of this kind of relationship karma. They’re only supposed to be in your life for a short period of time. Often they enter into your life synchronistically, and leave just as quickly as they came, leaving you dizzy and bewildered from the emotional whirlwind. There is an explosive connection that awakens you both, but for reasons that are quite often outside of your control, they must leave.
They can (and do) come back, as a Twin Flame relationship is not unlike looking at a DNA strand from the side — they connect and go out and connect again. The frequency of connection varies, but reconnection can happen in a lifetime, depending on the karma between the two.
The Dream
Recently I asked God for advice and help regarding my own karma with this topic, and He sent me a dream. I was in a void, surrounded by nothingness, and I saw a bright dot. “Ah, consciousness,” I said. “No,” God gently said. Then as He spoke, the dot gently divided into two. And with a knowing so deep, so profound, God showed me the duality of Consciousness. You cannot have consciousness without something to be conscious of. He showed me a flash of Moses and the burning bush as both part of Him and aspects of Him, experiencing each other.
I understood the duality, the separation was all for a deeper understanding of myself. Separation from a Twin Flame isn’t pain for the sake of pain, it’s a deepening of the human experience. For one to experience great joy and aliveness, one must also experience deep pain. I then understood the purpose of a Twin Flame, as challenging as it can be, as an opportunity to open up more deeply to the aliveness of my own life.
Your Twin Flame Survival Guide
#1 Be here and now.
The first step to not just surviving — but thriving when experiencing Twin Flame karma is to be deeply present with your emotions. No, you’re not going crazy. This is just a REALLY REALLY intense kind of karma that you’re going through and it will be OK.
Acknowledge and give yourself permission to express your emotions. Every. Last. One. It would be even better if you ritualized them. Also, be aware that this is a process spanning months and maybe even years. It’s not something that you will just get over in one night. Getting into tune and into the habit of allowing yourself to feel your emotions helps you process and release them. That’s why they’re called “emotions”: they’re energy in motion. An excellent book that will help guide you with being present in your Twin Flame experience is A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle.
#2 Stay in Your Lane
It is exactly as it sounds. Set healthy boundaries if you must. If you’re not sure what you should do regarding communication with your twin, ask yourself, “What action will bring me the most peace?” What kind of communication level does that entail? Ask yourself what boundaries you need to set for the sake of your own peace — and stick to them. I guarantee that you will be tempted to reach out. They may even reach out. If you need to reach out for whatever reason, meditate first and call in your guides & angels. Ask them for help when you communicate with your Twin to keep the energy high.
You’re also not here to save another person from themselves. It’s OK to feel frustrated if your Twin isn’t making the best decisions for themselves in their life. What’s not OK is trying to fix them when they haven’t genuinely asked for help, and/or they refuse to be self-aware and take self-ownership of their lives. It’s hard, but sometimes your absence can actually be healing to dysfunctional people.
Also, avoid stalking your Twin Flame — especially on social media. It may be tempting, but a Twin Flame link is very sensitive, and pining for them/stalking them/obsessing over them will only get you nowhere and won’t improve your situation. If you find this difficult, you may need to just block them.
The reason this is particularly difficult advice is that being around your Twin Flame is like a drug. However, focusing on them too much (instead of your own life path) just keeps you stuck in that yearning energy. It’s not unlike putting a mirror in front of a Beta Fish. You never do this because they’re extremely territorial and will hit the glass over and over again until they injure themselves or worse. With a Twin, it’s better to focus on yourself and stay in your lane. This gives both of you the best spiritual chance at success and happiness in your lives.
#3 Happiness and Peace Lie Within
““We are stars wrapped in skin. The light you are seeking has always been within.””
Your Twin Flame is not the source of your happiness. I know it may seem that way right now, but that is not the truth. The truth is, happiness is something that manifests on the inside. When we see other people, goals, things, and/or situations as our source of happiness, we give our power away. I know it’s hard to believe, but your happiness doesn’t end with your Twin Flame. For most in Twin Flame karma, love, and permanent union in this lifetime isn’t necessarily what serves the highest good of both.
Any amazing feelings you get from being around your twin are something that already exists inside you. Your ability to access those feelings is determined by how much you are willing to spiritually grow, be present, and focus on inner peace.
Also, true love can absolutely exist with other soulmates that are not your twin. Many people who are in wonderful, solid, and healthy relationships get blindsided by Twin Flame karma. This doesn’t mean you should leave your current partner or that you won’t be fulfilled with said partner because you’ve been exposed to this “new” Twin Flame energy — quite the opposite. If you work hard enough on yourself, your relationship with your non-twin soulmate will (if anything) deepen. It will make you feel and appreciate your healthy relationships that much more.
Wrapping Up
Yes, all Twin Flames are meant to eventually be united. However, that doesn’t necessarily mean this will happen in your lifetime. It just depends on how willing both parties are to work on themselves. I’m neither saying this to dishearten you, nor to give you hope. The ultimate purpose of this experience right now is to learn about yourself more deeply than you could have before you met your twin.
Unlike other karmic soulmates, a twin flame must be very high-vibrating for any sort of union to last. That means they both stayed in their own lanes and worked on themselves — a lot. Instead of cursing the situation, ask yourself how it’s been your teacher. What have you learned about yourself from it? How can you use these experiences to explore yourself more deeply? How can you trust yourself more?
