Read my newest article on twin flames The Twin Flame Survival Guide

A Serious Topic

The truth is, there is a lot of confusion and misinformation out there regarding the topic of twin flames. This is unfortunate, because dealing with a twin flame situation can be challenging, intense, and difficult. Many “practitioners” have videos and websites that make promises about “twin flame reunion” and if you are willing to spend $1,000 on their new Twin Flame™ package/seminar/book/kit, you too, can get your twin flame to love you!

If only it were that easy.

Dealing with a twin flame can be one of the most energetically intense things a soul chooses to go through. It can be confusing and make you question everything and everyone you know. The purpose of this post is so you can understand the meaning of a twin flame experience, and the ultimate lessons behind it.

What are “Twin flames”?

A “twin flame” is often described as the other half of your soul, though this is only partly true. A twin flame is better understood as the divine compliment to your higher self—your higher soul.

This isn’t to say that a twin flame is the “only” or “best” soulmate you’ll ever have. It’s simply the compliment to your soul. Many people make the mistake in assuming their twin flame is the only person that will make them happy. This simply isn’t true. Most souls have many soulmates who can make them quite happy. The difference between these and a twin flame is that the twin flame is very intense—which isn’t necessarily always a good thing.

All souls are connected to Source (God), and gender is a construct of this reality to help us better understand ourselves through free will. Ancient principles have spoken about this—not just Plato. The 7 Hermetic principles in the Kyballion (based on ancient Egyptian mysticism) also emphasize this (especially the 7th).

Our higher selves (the part of our souls that exist outside of space/time and across incarnations) are complete beings unto themselves, but they also have a complimentary soul that comes from the same source, which we can call the “Oversoul”. Like angels, the Oversoul is neither masculine or feminine and it too, exists outside of space/time. Think of the Oversoul as your higher self’s higher self. The higher selves of twin flames always compliment each other in many ways, with the most obvious being gender.

However, this isn’t to say that twin souls only incarnate as male/female. I have seen twin flames manifest within the same gender as well. They just have a tendency of taking on masculine/feminine aspects that compliment each other. Additionally, no one is 100% masculine, or 100% feminine. Sure, we have males and females, but some men are great empaths (a feminine trait) and some women can be great leaders (a masculine trait).

Misconceptions

When people think “twin flame” they equate it to a couple that is head-over-heels for each other in a “happily ever after” scenario, riding off into the sunset. This simply isn’t the case most times. This is because a twin flame reunion happens in stages, often across multiple lifetimes. When a reunion happens and the relationship stays, it’s because they have been preparing across lifetimes to reunite permanently. This permanent reunion happens when twin souls are in their final rounds of incarnations and happens naturally and gracefully. All other meetings are intense karmic encounters that eliminate lower-vibrational energy as a setup for the final encounter.

It is also important that I emphasize twin flames are not “other halves”—because that implies you are not a complete being without your twin. This idea is a very dangerous one because it defies the point of the twin flame experience in the first place. No, the individual souls are completely autonomous—meaning you are a complete existence regardless of the relationship you have with your twin. More on that in a moment.

Runners & Chasers

The terms “runners & chasers” refer to twin relationships where one twin is either running from or chasing the other, and vice versa. This is often a sign that the relationship isn’t ready to be reunited as a twin flame relationship that is ready for true reunion will neither run nor give chase. Running and chasing are often motivated by lower egoic energies of lust, fear and so fourth.

The Signs You’ve Met Your Twin

Like I said earlier, a twin flame is a connection unlike any other you’ve experienced before. It is extremely intense and raw. I touched on this topic briefly in a previous blog post explaining the difference between a “twin” and other types of soulmates. Older souls experience the twin flame lessons as they are mature enough to handle it. Unlike other types of soulmates, you only have one twin—but that doesn’t mean a twin flame is the only love that you can have and feel complete with! The signs of a twin flame relationship include:

• Feeling an intense sense of energy when they’re around (such as a tingling sensation, or feeling like you just had a can of Red Bull)

• Knowing when they’re around or nearby

• It’s as if you can easily see into their souls and they can see into yours

• You may look alike, act alike, have similar mannerisms, sayings, and ways of thinking about things

• You have dates in common, or synchronicities with birthdays and/or other important dates

• You have birthmarks in the same spot on your body

• You may have similar childhood traumas and/or obstacles

• You’re always thinking on the same wavelength

• You feel at home in their presence—it’s like you’ve “made it”, or crossed the finish line

• You feel whole and complete around them

• You feel like you’ve known each other your whole lives

• The relationship is as natural as breathing—regardless of how long you’ve known each other

• There is an intense, deep physical and/or emotional attraction

• You feel like there is a sense of belonging around them

• There is a consistent, indescribable sense of complete understanding

• You have visions of past lives with them

• Your intuitive abilities increase around them

• Your chakras open up around them

• You have flashes of their daily lives (such as knowing what they’re eating, seeing what they’re doing, or getting a strange feeling that you both are doing the same thing at the same time)

• Just “knowing” private things about them

• Separation anxiety, constantly thinking about them, or talking to them in your head

Many of these signs can also be signs of a close soulmate that isn’t necessarily a twin flame. The primary difference between a twin flame and a close soulmate is that twin flame energy is far more intense, and twin flames have similar, if not identical energy signatures (your energetic “fingerprints” or “scents” if you will). Again, I iterate that you can be just as happy with a soulmate as you can with a twin flame. The reason there is a lot of hype about twins is because it is just so intense!

When meeting your twin for the first time in a lifetime, one can often become fixated or even obsessed over them. Many people find themselves straying from their divine purpose because they become so focused on reuniting with their twin that they lose track of themselves. Others may believe they’ve “fallen in love” when in reality, it’s limerence—falling in love with the idea of the other. The difference between true love and limerence is that true love is completely selfless, and unconditional love (true love) is wanting the best for someone and the ones they love—regardless of whether or not you’re in their life.

What they don’t tell you about twin flames

As much as I’d like to say that life is all sunshine and roses, it isn’t. Many psychics and spiritual advisors take advantage of people in search of their twins or prey on those who are desperate for confirmation/validation that their twin is coming to them/coming back to them. The truth is, not all twins are meant to reunite permanently in this lifetime. Many meet for the sole purpose of speeding up each other’s awakening/ascension process, as meeting your twin creates a profound explosion of energy unlike any other.

Additionally, when many twins unite, especially for the first time in an incarnation, it is often brief, and an event or situation separates them (such as a move, personal emergency, job loss/change, etc…) so each soul can learn and grow separately from the experience. This is an important element of the ascension process as it reminds the soul that they are autonomous, and in order for complete and final twin flame reunion, both individual souls must have grown into complete entities unto themselves. Twins can only reunite when they understand each other as two, autonomous complements—without any belief whatsoever that one’s existence is needed for the other’s happiness.

“…This is a process and not an actual event. It is gradual, but inevitable. It may not be the plan for you to realign with your Twin Soul in this particular lifetime. This is determined by Divine Timing and the Plan for your individual Twin Set. Your Twin may not even be incarnated on the Earth plane at this point in linear time. Or your Twin may be a child or even a baby somewhere on the Earth plane. Your Twin could even already be in the Ascended state in a higher dimension waiting for you to join Them. There are no cut and dry situations when it comes to Twin Souls. However, any spiritual work to align with their Higher Self that either Twin does will naturally ‘elevate’ the Other and this will help to expedite their eventual reunion. Rest assured that you will be reunited with your Twin in Divine Timing. Twin Souls are eternally connected to one another by a silvery/blue cord that can never be severed. We are also connected to our Higher Self by a similar silver cord that is attached to our Crown Chakra.”

— Edgar Cayce

Mirror Souls

Your twin flame is your mirror. This is another huge difference between twin flames and soulmates. Though, others are mirrors to a lesser extent to help us learn not to project our own issues out into the world, a twin flame is a much more intense mirror. Twins will often notice faults in each other’s personality—what they usually fail to realize, is that’s just as much a fault within themselves. One odd trait about twin flames is they have an uncanny spiritual connection in their evolutionary process. They will incarnate with the same issues and life lessons to overcome, and will heal at the same rate on their journey. So if one gets stuck/fixated on their own twin, that hinders the ascension process for both. If one heals themselves and works on themselves (especially in separation), this helps their twin heal karmically as well.

How to deal with a twin flame

If you think you’ve experienced a twin flame reunion, here is some advice: Don’t lose your head. These are powerful emotions, and please know you’re not alone. Talk to a dear friend or therapist about it. Don’t run or chase after them, as a truly healing twin flame connection does neither of those things. It takes two to tango. Don’t go to social media boards about twin flames, because they’re full of toxic relationships, bad advice, and predatory practitioners. Be accepting of the situation, moment by moment. Instead of focusing on the intensity of the experience (as we expand and give our power to what we focus on), instead focus on yourself and your well-being. Remember and remind yourself that you and your happiness are never defined by anything or anyone externally—this is an opportunity to discover what truly validates you. Is it you, or your twin? Hint: it’s not your twin. Also remember to set boundaries and be assertive—which can be challenging, but necessary.

Things that prolong twin flame reunions

The purpose of the twin flame experience is an important, challenging and crucial one for your soul’s ascension process. Its purpose is to remind you and challenge you to become resolute and complete in your understanding of your autonomous self—in the face of the power of your soul’s compliment—whom you only naturally wish to reunite with. So when you fixate on that reflection, instead of focusing inward, you lose sight of yourself and the true reason for the experience. Many twins that find themselves stuck running or chasing only create more misery in their lives. Holding on to someone who isn’t meant to be in your life yet (regardless if it’s “supposed” to be in this lifetime or not) only holds you both back. You can only be happy together if you’re happy and feel complete by yourself.

Additionally, the Universe will send you obvious signs that you and your twin aren’t ready for reunion. These signs include physical separation, one (or both) twin flames being in relationships with others (regardless if they’re in “happy” relationships or not), one or both having substance abuse or untreated psychological issues, feeling like you’re putting much effort into the relationship with your twin, but with little outcome, pining over your twin, being a “runner” or a “chaser”, self-loathing, untreated depression/anxiety, and letting thoughts of your twin take up a large portion of your time.

How to Reunite with Your Twin Flame

It may seem counter-intuitive, but it’s about going within. In short: focus on yourself. Focus on healing yourself. Focus on your life’s purpose. Twin flame reunion is a natural occurrence, and a natural process. The first meeting was spontaneous and unplanned—yet so natural. So is the reunion—it flows effortlessly. When they come into your life—or back into your life—a true reunion is graceful and effortless. It’s full of selflessness and unconditional love. When you are ready to meet your twin, it’s because you have learned to fall in love with yourself. A twin flame relationship can only be successful if you have already successfully worked towards unconditional love for yourself. This is the ultimate lesson—to be complete yet undefined in the presence of your spiritual counterpart. That is what makes a twin flame such a difficult lesson to overcome.