#awkward

 

I love DragonCon.

Apparently my photography is at its best around 2 a.m. (Hyatt Atrium in Midtown).

Apparently my photography is at its best around 2 a.m. (Hyatt Atrium in Midtown).

It is the one time of the year I can wear my most outlandish clothes and look normal.

"normal".

For those of you who don't know, DragonCon is an annual event (every Labor Day Weekend) that hosts everything nerdy. From anime to sci-fi, from art to filking—you name it, They've got it. This year it had about 77,000 attendees. That's a whole lotta nerd. 

My husband and I lovingly call it our "annual pilgrimage to Nerd Mecca". And it went well—from what I remember, anyways. The Gentlemen's Jack can make things a bit...hazy. There's a reason they call it THE "Party 'Con".

I'll take whiskey for 500 Alex.

I had so much I wanted to do. For the first time in 9 years of going to DragonCon, I was finding myself having trouble keeping up with everything I wanted to do and see. In a way, the weekend escaped me. Sure, I managed to do plenty of things, but It got me thinking though. 

Screw the view. You should've seen the alcohol we brought.

Screw the view. You should've seen the alcohol we brought.

Part of the "problem" was the amount of varied interests I had. 

I don't see it as a problem, per se, but when it comes to people with a variety of talents, versus a focused niche, society seems to prefer the focused niche. Especially in the creative field. It makes sense if you think about it. It's easier to make a career out of once specific or refined talent/passion, versus passion and talent for multiple things. 

Lately I have been feeling a bit "out-of-place" because I have a range of passions that I am still not 100% sure how to put to use in a creative profession (or even have the time for in a hobby). 

To give you an idea, here's a list of things I'm passionate about:

  • Graphic Design
    —Paper
    —Typography
    —Negative Space

  • Black Holes/theoretical physics

  • Philosophy

  • Anime

  • MUSIC! (Especially electro and classical)

  • Memes (horrible habit, I know)

  • Fine Art (especially drawing, watercolors and getting better at art)

  • Photography (and camera lenses and photography as both an art and a science)

  • The Esoteric (tarot, mediumship, psychic stuff, alchemy, etc,...)

  • Meditation

  • Spirituality

  • Understanding different religions

  • Writing

  • Problem-solving

I told you.

I told you.

And that's just the stuff I'm interested in now. As you can see, there is no career field that encompasses ALL of these things...so what is a girl to do? Just roll with it...and maybe stop trying to fit my awkward self into one limiting puzzle piece.

When I was at the Blue Barn working a psychic fair a couple of months ago, I had the privilege of doing a trade with a lovely (and very powerful) practitioner by the name of Mary. Mary had been doing tarot/psychic readings for something like 40 years, and had been doing the Big Psychic Fair for around 25 of that. When she read me, she told me something that hit home. 

She told me I needed to stop trying to label myself. I'm not just an artist. I'm not just a nerd. I'm not just a psychic. I am all of these things—and more. My frustration was born of this futile attempt to fit in through putting myself in one category or another. 

But like an awkwardly-shaped puzzle piece, I didn't. I'm not normal, and in order to become a better person I need to be OK with that. Sometimes it's OK to temporarily "pretend" to be normal under the occasional unique circumstance, but in the end, I'm not. The more I take ownership of that fact, the more I realize I am more than the many niches I have invested my passions in. The more I focus on embracing my talents and passions, the more I thrive. Maybe when I get good at that I'll even begin to thread them together to combine them into something unique and beautiful.

Stop worrying about fitting in...because you weren't meant to.