Change, the Move & the Death Card


Change is never easy.

My Current Mood.

I've never had someone walk up to me and say, "Gee, I absolutely LOVE how my world feels like it's turning upside down! Boy I sure do LOVE change!".

Nope. Not holding my breath on that one.

We as humans are habitual creatures. We are fond of our rituals and schedules. You can find them in our religions, government and day-to-day meanderings. It's how we stay safe—how we feel safe. It's a way for us to regulate our environments.

So naturally, anything that disrupts that causes some degree of "chaos". Now personally, I'm not a huge fan of chaos. I don't think true chaos exists—in the end, it's just a pattern that hasn't registered yet. Because I don't believe in coincidences, it would be incompatible to believe in chaos. To me, everything has a pattern.

But I digress. Change sucks and nobody likes it because it's a forced alteration in one's ritual or habit. Exhibit A:

The Move

Since I was a teenager, I've had this horrible tendency to develop symptoms of mild autism during any sort of move. No, I'm not joking. Yes, autism is serious. I should know, I have a close family member who was diagnosed with mild autism. Some of the symptoms included having a hard time making eye-contact, anxiety, repetitive behaviors and basically being really emotional (which is unlike me as I take pride in usually being a very reserved person).

In the end, I got better but my poor husband basically ended up doing a majority of the work. Also, it was f***ing worth it, which leads me to my next point...

Change = Good

Yo I promise I'm not that scary.

Yo I promise I'm not that scary.

Just as I've never had anyone tell me how wonderful the change is they're currently going through, I've never had a client that was overly ecstatic about the Death card when it decided to show up in a reading. On the surface, it can be intimidating to look at. Jeez, it's the Death card after all! There's a skeleton! People are scared! Oh noz!

Here's a little secret about that card: It's only meant death (in the literal sense) to me once, and that was because I was about to put my cat down. For every client I've had, it's meant change, and here's why:

Change is a sort of death in and of itself. You're letting go of the old. As a Major Arcana card, Death is the epitome of change in my deck. It shows up when you're going through some massive life changes but it brings hope because with change, comes the opportunity for new (and better) beginnings. A clean slate. A second chance.  

Death walks up to the bishop on a white horse, not galloping, but slowly trotting along. He comes not with weapons, but with a flag—adorned with the Sacred Rose. In the Rider-Waite deck it is card 13 (XIII) summing up to the number 4 in numerology—a balance of sorts. He is depicted as a herald for change. Out with the old monarchy, in with something new. 

Change is scary and can feel chaotic (much like our move), but in the end, it has the potential to be a beautiful thing. The change itself is no picnic, just as the three days of moving my husband and I had to do by ourselves was—but in the end it was worth it. Now we're living in a bigger apartment just minutes away from work. No more hour-long traffic jams. 

Change isn't meant to be comfortable, but it is meant to help us grow. Sometimes we must topple our old systems of thinking in order to embrace something new, and that may require a temporary, illusory sort-of "chaos".